This time last year, this time last year, it repeated like a mantra. This time last year, he was still here. This song was popular. He will never hear it again. This song became popular afterwards. He never even got to hear it. What else has he missed since then? Milestones, too many to count.
3 a.m. Every morning. That was the time that enormous pit in my stomach opened up. The dread weighed on me from that moment until my eyes closed, only to restart when I woke up abruptly.
3 months. That was all it took. I wanted to crawl into my bed and never leave.
3 years, which suddenly flew by without notice. New chapters and beginnings, yet they are without him.
Homebody, be a homebody. “It is what you take with you, no matter where you go. It is inside you. Never forget that.” With that, she walked away. I was reassured.
Birthday no. 6 has come and gone. One day, we will wake up and it will have been a decade. Sometimes I ask, what were we thinking?
Archive – The Life After, 2018, monotype, oil-based and water-based etching inks on canvas and mercerised cotton, digital print on canvas, 60 x 72 x 2″
Shazia Ahmad 